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The last days dad and I shared together have been extremely difficult but a cherished experience that is unique and intimate. When dad was able to communicate we had been able to exchange I love you in a deeper sense than I thought possible. I think we both knew this time was short. Beyond being able to say I love you to each other we have been able to reciprocate to one another that we knew the other loved us and have never doubted it. My dad has been able to share his love of my mother and sisters and has expressed we have always been the center of his world. It allows me to inspect my true feelings and emotions for my own family and know without a shadow of a doubt that I have a deep love for my wife and children that is unconditional. I have really been able to wrap my mind around that word and meaning and understand that my love is theirs regardless if it is returned or deserved. I am not saying my family doesn't love me, they do, what I am saying is that even when times in life are not good or if I feel I have failed them, that love remains. This is the same type of love my father feels for his family. Regardless if life has made togetherness possible or when there have been disagreements in the past, that love remains.
My dad has been often confused in the last few weeks and had difficulty talking in his last days. He has said something's that I will cherish forever. One morning after coming back from checking on mom, he looked up at me and smiled the biggest smile when I walked in and said there is my howdy. He has told nurses and visitors that I am his helper, and I have tried to be. Dad has called me his buddy since birth and he is still my buddy. Always will be. My sons are my buddies too and together we are forever linked. There is a special deep bond between a son and his father. It transposes time and space. I have forever attempted to imitated my father or at least tried to. I have many failings that he does not have and I hope at the end of my time on earth, I can eliminate my faults and be more like him.
My father has always been man of love. This love was not just for his family but also for his fellow man. He has always been slow to anger and has always been a forgiving man. May his spirit leave that gift with me. It is such a better life to love than to hate.
My father has always been a man of unshaken resolve. He has endured hardships even from early childhood and made the decision that it would not set the stage for his life. He has been the father that he did not have, since he lost his father at an early age. He again watched his mother died and as a teenager lifted her lifeless body off the ground. He had the love of his grandmother and his uncle Ramon and aunt Jewel to keep him straight.
Dad met mother at an age of 14-15 and knew she would be his mate for his life. His one purpose in life has been to take care of her and to make her happy. Often putting her desires far ahead of his. This is another gift I wish he could leave me. I hope to make my wife happy at all times as well. I think this is right for a man.
My father began this adventure called life by going into the navy right after high school and marriage. My parents spent their honey moon taking dad to boot camp and he was stationed in Charleston South Carolina. He was a gunners mate on the USS Charles F. Adams, the first cruise missile destroyer. He served on this ship during the Cuban missile crisis and theirs was one of only a hand full of ships to actually fire shots during the blockade.
Following leaving the navy, dad joined TXI (Texas Industries) as a grease monkey. He often joked he had the second lowest paying job with the company. However, he did not settle for this and went to night school for years until he obtained his degrees. He rose through the company to manage several locations and earned respect from his fellow employees along the way. People whom he reported to and those that reported to him, all respected my father and he never tried to be someone he was not. Dad retired with 48 years of service with TXI.
My mother and father have had a love affair for over 55 years and 50 of those years have been as husband and wife. They are more ingrained in one another than I have ever seen in a couple. Their love affair is the stuff of movies. They always made do with what they had and strived to make ends meet and love abounded. They raised three children and these children always knew they loved one another and their children. Even when their children have them grief and heartache, the love remained.
My father has been a man of God since his teenage years and though he strayed from the straight and narrow in his earlier years, he always found his way back to God. He has always shared his love of Jesus with his fellowman and everyone who knew George Lowry knew he was a man of God and they respected it and if they didn't they kept their mouths shut as dad was an imposing figure even when showing love. His persona was of strength, confidence and enduring love.
Dad didn't simply set back and let others do the work but was involved in his churches and community. His devoted himself to leading young men to The Lord and spent a great deal of time involved with Royal Rangers. His involvement in rangers gave him many nights of camping on the hard ground and many hours praying for the souls of young men. Some of my happiest memories are camping with my father for many years as a ranger.
Many people have questioned many things about the Christian faith but my father is proof of the love of Christ and his gifts of the spirit. Anyone who knew dad also knew there was no bluffing, no faking when it came to dad. What you see is was what dad was. If you question the existence of the Holy Spirit, you never knew my father.
Every son wants the approval and pride of his father. I am no different. I know he is proud of me because he has told me and I pray that every son know of this approval. I share this pride with my sons. One thing I have learned from my father is that you stand for what you believe is right even if it hurts. May my sons know to stand ridged even when you want to give in. My dad has always been the first to stand when there is a need or when he thought something was not right. May I have this resolve.
My father has always been teaching me and even in these last days he has been teaching me about life and about death. They are both a beginning, a journey and an end, at least until the next chapter. He has taught me not to fear death. Fight it all you want but don't fear it. It is simply a process we go through to reach the next journey. Even with pain it is simply part of the process. With a slow passing you are given the opportunity to set things right at least with your own soul. Any unresolved issues are completed. Those who go quickly may not be able to resolve these issues but who are we to know until we experience our own death? We all will take this same journey and it is a humbling experience. Those that have greed, love, hate, riches and the poor are all brought to the same level without prejudice. At the end we all are relieved of our worries, pain, and burdens that are unique to this life. It is okay to die.
Even now in his last hours, I sit beside his death bed and record these thoughts so that I can never forget his strength as it is still in his weakening body. He has fought sickness for several years now an a valiant battle it has been. His will has never been broken, his spirit never faltered. His body has stopped fighting but his spirit refuses. This is my father, the man I adore.
George Todd Lowry
December 29, 2012
Sunday, December 30, 2012 |
