So sorry for your loss. Many of us move away from "home", but our friends are never forgotten.
Monday, June 6, 2011

Thoughts of Rocco Swirling in My Mind

Thoughts of Rocco keep swirling in my mind, never leaving my mind this past week. He was an original, and that was one of the many good qualities he possessed. His genuineness is one of the first qualities that come to my mind. He knew how to really be a friend, and his love for you was something you could just feel. He did so many things to show his love. He would go out of his way to do such nice things for those he cared about. I remember when I was in 7th grade. I was so excited to make cheerleader, and he drove three hours one-way to give me a gift of a small marble figurine of monkey cheerleaders, which I still have.

He loved getting invitations to spend time with people. I don’t recall a time he passed up an invitation I gave him to come visit. He and Peggy came to visit me for his last birthday, and then again for Labor Day weekend. We had great fun driving around in the Hill Country, stopping at antique stores, and eating out. Rocco also enjoyed us going to the U.T. campus to a Human Body exhibit made up of many cadavers. When visiting on his last birthday, I gave him a photo album of memories through the years, which was used at his viewing on Tuesday. He was so appreciative of the gift. When my family has invited him for events through the years, he has always made it. He loved being part of a family group, and was so good with kids. Most of the times he came to visit me or my family once I was grown, he brought one or more thoughtful gifts for the people he would be joining. The most amazing invitation he ever took us up on was visiting us when we lived in the Eskimo village of Akiachak, Alaska. He was our only visitor from back home the whole year we were there. It was so great to have him spend time with us.

Rocco was a loyal friend. He devoted many hours and weekends to helping my parents and the Jordan family build the house I grew up in. He also ran the electricity in that house for us. He would give anyone the shirt off of his back if they needed it. How many of us can say that someone outside of our immediate family has called to wish us “Happy Birthday” almost every year of our life that we could remember? I only remember him not calling in 1979 when we lived in Alaska, and there was only one phone in our whole village.

He was sensitive and internalized things. He was hard on himself for not having been perfect as a kid. He could never “let it go” when he felt like he was to blame for imperfect relationships between family or friends. He has felt guilty for years for not “being there” more for his biological dad and mom. Rocco told me he regretted that when Gwendolyn took him during his teenage years to see his dad that he did not give the time and attention that he wished he had given to his dad. He didn’t cut himself any slack that he was just a kid, wanting to get back to his friends and teen life at the time.

Rocco really knew how to make you feel special. When my sister and I were little and he would come to visit, or when camping at Canyon Lake, we would make Rocco dirt pies. We would use only things from nature and decorate it to look beautiful. Rocco would pay us pocket change for each pie we made him. We thought we were rich when it was all over, with all of the change we made from our pie-making efforts. We loved pleasing Rocco, and he would comment on the neat things we thought to use to decorate the pies with.

He was so respectful. For women, he would always open the door. The biggest show of respect that I recall noticing was for the mom who raised him. At her funeral, he looked very different. He had shaved off his beard as a sign of respect for her, and I knew that he loved his beard. He was so polite and respectful addressing people as Mr., Mrs., or Miss. He would even call me “Miss Noralee” at times, and smile.

Rocco was sentimental. He kept sentimental trinkets like they were precious jewels. He loved to receive gifts that people made for him. It meant something special to him for someone to take the time to make him a gift, and he treasured it the rest of his life. I made him a little house out of toothpicks, glue, and aluminum foil when I was around 9 years old. He kept the little house all of these years, and would always show it to me when I would go to his house to visit. I didn’t know until after he died that he slept with a pillow I had made him when I was in 9th grade. I didn’t realize at the time I made the pillow, how “unmanly” it was. He valued things made with time, not from money. Keeping these items was an example of how appreciative he was of anything you did for him – but he would hardly ever let people do things for him.

Rocco was a fun Spades partner. I was his partner in my very first game of Spades. Sis and I had watched Mom and Mick play Spades for years with Rocco and other friends of my parents. Once we were in junior high, they allowed us to try to play a game with the adults. On our first hand, I went “low”. Rocco’s mouth just dropped. I knew he was worried. Once we made our low, he was so proud of me, and for the rest of my life he has reminded me that I went “low” on my first hand of Spades, and made it. That has always made me proud. I was his Spades partner for five or six consecutive years, and I loved every minute of it. I wanted to play well, and I admired his and Mick’s ability to count spades, something that always made me want to try harder. I had the most fun playing against Mick and Sis, for some reason…..it was all so fun!

These qualities of his that I wrote about are the essence of who he was to me. There will be few losses in my lifetime that could equal or surpass this feeling of loss. I am honored that I was able to be with him during his last three days of life, including his time of death. May God bless you in Heaven, Rocco.
Noralee Lewis



Sunday, June 5, 2011

i didn't want to write but i couldn't keep myself away...there is comfort in even being around others online who are hurting. it has been 20 years since i saw rocco more than once a year after seeing him SO often the first 20 yrs of my life. i realize that sounds pathetic...and it is hard for me to accept what marriage and raising a family hours away from family does. it hurts to see he kept every letter/trinket my sister nora and i gave him. he was so much more than an uncle to us for the first 20 years of our lives...he is so very much like mick (dad). it wasn't enough to be around him. he wanted to get inside of your head/heart. all. canoe. camp. eat. play cards. learn. listen. talk. listen. when i was 8 or 10 ish we went over in canoes in the rapids. he didn't have a lifejacket and the water was up over his beard, over his head even. he carried us even though we had life jackets to the shore, one on each shoulder. we thought we were dying...he left us under a tree crying our eyes out and went back out to help the others. all the hours he spent helping build our house. sure there was plain old fun stuff too, but so much of what he did was Being our friend. can't imagine the man who spoke first at funeral...having to work under him and being an idiot, it was so stressful to be his partner in spades in the beginning because we didn't want to dissapoint him, and that was "just" a game. usually he partnered with my sister and i partnered with mick, which was almost as stressful. they were so much alike. i liked his belt rolled up like a snake with all his stuff in the middle of it on the floor, running downstairs to find him asleep if i could wake up earlier than him...not realizing how tiring it was for him to come in off 3 hr trip after long day friday only to return 3 hrs sunday night for another long week. when i was too tired to make a peach pie he would bribe me with $5...and here i was only a jr hi student thinking i was tired....not knowing yet what tired from work really meant. it hurt on saturday to hear him ask if he should "come in tomorrow" and upon hearing it was a holiday, relief, saying he was so tired. you that worked with him know what a hard and dedicated worker he was. and that doesn't even scratch the surface with him signing up two extra times in vietnam. i only heard stuff from Mick about that....it was off limits to ask him about...but seeing the pictures and things he sent the Wingates...well. he was something else. he was just something else. i could say so many things, but nothing is enough, nothing explains really...
Thursday, June 2, 2011

Rocco was a warm, kind, giving man! My memories as a kid of him were great! He loved to pick on you and would have some kind of useful knowledge of something off the wall. I enjoyed growing up with him in my life. We would go visit Aunt Norma and Uncle Mic in Crockett and on the ride up there, he would always catch up to us on his motorcyle. We had a stationwagon so it was a treat to sit in the back and wait for him to catch up. Then he would make faces at us and we would make faces back and of course get in trouble by Dad and Rocco would just laugh! And then there were many nights that he and Peggy would come for tea and play Spades with mom and Dad. He was always around and we enjoyed his company! He will be greatly missed!
May your gentle soul rest in peace...

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Sorry to hear about the loss of Roccol. He was a good friend and his memory will live on in my heart forever. Peggy, may God's love give you strength during this time of sorrow.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011