Jonathan Marcus Siau

I need you more than EVER!! Our son needs you I have tried to keep it all together, but GOD!!! This hurts so Bad!! God I wish I go back in time & change everything! I have tryed to block it all out, & then BAM it hits you right in the stomach!! I have to look @ you Everyday through our son & pretend like that doesnt hurt Oh man how that hurts!! & he thinks everyone he gets close to dies thats hard to deal with!! Everyone says oh it will be OK, but their not me & they dont look at things like I do, Its hard, I wish I could take all his pain & just keep it, BC he wont open up, He does have allot of great memories of you & that's the ones I want him to keep close to his heart!! Who would have ever thought I would be writing on here, to talk to daddy, WOW that just blows my mind! Why? That's my main question Why? We have a BEAUTIFUL son that needs you weather. I was in the picture or not He needed you & he does everyday, I have tried to replace you BUT you that's impossible. I Love you Forever!! Meet you their!!!!! Kiss my baby for me!! <3 you with all my heart!!!

In Remembrance:

September 13, 1975

Memory is an album
Full of rare and priceless art-
Precious moments kept
Forever in the pages
Of our hearts.

We remember and miss him.

Yesterday made 4 months! I miss you sleep with the angels, Save me a spot up there!! Love you Bunches!! Kiss my other angel for me!! We miss you so much!! <3

Yeasterday didnt even feel like a holiday without you!! The last Holiday we spent together was Valentines Day!! & It was the GREATEST!! I still have your card & the teddy bear & ballons!! Yo know I couldnt keep the tupuips alive lol!! I wish you were here, so I could tell you how much we love & miss you!! You really dont know how this feels, never really thought i've be going through this! Tanner, was my child & THAT HUIRT ALOT THIS IS TOTTALLY DIFFERENT!! LIKE, both sides of my heart are shallow!! I cant really put the felling into a word! & thats weird for me, bc you always said, YOU NEVER SHUT UP!! LOL We would talk forever & IM SO GLAD WE ALL GT THAT TIME TOGETHER!! GOD, GAVE US THAT!! & SO MANY GREAT MEMORIES!!!! But, I will NEVER break that promise I made you!! I will make sure he is taken care of the best I can!! NOone will ever be daddy!! God, this feels so weird writing in here to you!! Its so unvbeliveable!! Well, Tristion made 100 on last weeks spellng test!! You would be proud!! Lasttime you syudied with him, we made 100! He woke up last night Wel at 3 this mornng!! & was talking to about you, we talkd till the bus ran!! & we talked to you! & in some weird way, I feel you!! Exspecially, today!! Well, its late & T is up way too late!! He plays alot of games!! We are movin! You would be so proud!! I know you are smiling down on us & are happy!! Just wish I could see that smile, & smell your smell one more time!! Well, Tristion wears your Axe everyday to school! Its hard to belive ill never see you again till I get there!! I know we talked about this after Pa died, what we would do & how that felt, but I actully NEVER dreamed it would only be 8 months & 6 days till I acually felt that pain! & knew EXCTLLY how it felt!! We never stopped loving eachother!! You, are daddy!! Together, we crated to most beautiful, strong, little boy!! Hes who I look up too!! YOu lugh @ him he hets into football on playstation!! Called the guy, "butterfingers bc he dropped the ball!! lol I wish you could be here & us all be laughing & moving!! Well, he really needs to come go bed..He took a long nap afterschool so I hope he sleeps good!! ...Till next time Watch over us & Just keep Smilling!! 0:-) Meetcha there!! Now, hes talking like the little boy on Taladaga Nights!! hes so funny He gets that from you!! Keeps me rolling!! Couldnt make it without him!! Gotta big day tomorrow!! **LOVE & KISSES** Your Jenny!!! Heres Tristion wants to write to you: **pee pants and i love you ** Thats your BOY for Ya!! OMG he has watched, Taladaga Nights too much!! Hes just a laughing!! We love you!!

My eyes are full with tears as I make this attempt to sign your guestbook, Marcus! I want to know ...WHY? You are my heart and I will always consider you my son. I loved to photograph you when you were growing up and you were one ham for the camera, too!!! You are so beautiful to me and will always be...forever! Remember how you and I loved to pull pranks on each other on the phone, by letter and in person? Wow, I pulled some great ones on you as you did me!!! We laughed many a time together and you always had the good jokes...yes even those 'Blonde' jokes were fair game with your ...Aunt Becca!!! Thanks for treating to lunch at the Jack in the Box in Silsbee on Grand Opening Day! That was a special lunch....you paid!!! I'm glad you visited me in Austin, TX and I got to take you to Zilker Park so you could go swimming in the natural spring waters! You loved it so much and I have those photos we took together, you were smiling ear to ear and I was so happy to be spending time with you, Marcus! As your Aunt Becca, I never let any differences affect my deep love for you because I knew in my heart of your struggles. I tried and tried to help you when we discussed matters that were troubling you but you were not ready to go forward at the time. Like most men, you assured me you could handle it own your own. When your son (Triston) was born, I raced to Silsbee to welcome him into our family!!! You were so proud to become a Father! I took so many photos of you with baby Triston and Moma..the lovely Brandie...I love her too, Marcus!! Triston and Brandie miss you so much as they are heart broken as all your family is as we are deeply grieving as we are at a loss and long for you to be back with us yet we know that is not possible. Triston is one bright and intelligent child and will grow up with all the love and support his family can provide him with...I will do my best to keep him close and share my stories of you with him as he grows up includinng all my photos of you, Marcus! Brandie is consoling Triston as he misses his Daddy as she continues to cope with her own grief as well. Your Moma, your brother...Joseph and your sister, Jessaca.. are taking your loss hard yet in time we all will feel better as we have to focus on your memory and the good times! LaNae' was so sad to hear the news when I informed her, too! Marcus, know this...your Grannie loved you with all her heart! She misses you, Marcus! Yes, you were her right arm, as you two were always working together on something that needed to be fixed...and Marcus got the job done! You could fix anything! As I write this note to you, Marcus, I know I cannot undo what has happened and I'm living and must go on living like all of us must do but I want you back yet that's not a realistic request, I know. I am grieving deeply and wish in some way I could have been there for you. My grief is part of my journey, a process I must go through to heal as all of us must do in our own way(s), Marcus! You are now at Peace with yourself and I, too shall find my Peace by remembering all the good times and cherish my memories of you, Marcus! Your Daddy took the news so hard, too! Johnny loved you, Marcus. You had so amny relatives and many friends that loved you, appreciated your helpfulness and the laughter you brought into their lives s well! With all my heart and soul, I will keep your memory alive! Who loves you, Marcus?? Aunt Becca does!!! That's Right!!! :-)

I cant even write on here!!!! I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY! I wouldn't wish this feeling on anybody!!!

I am truly sorry for your loss. I grew up with Marc and remember his smile, sense of humor and ability to have fun anywhere. I have many fond memories of Marc floating down Village Creek, riding trees and jumping off the trestle.
Marc, you are missed my friend.
My thoughts and prayers are with you all during this agonizing time.
Sincerely, Lynde Padgett Phillips

Daddy We will miss you so much!!! We Loves you more than life itself!!! I Know we had our ups and downs, but I loved you through it all!!! You always knew how to make a sad day a happy day!!! I don't even know what to say right now I'm in TOTAL SHOCK!!! Our son is being so strong I guess He gets that from you!! I know I WILL SEE YOU AGAIN!!!! You are with Tanner!!! Tell him I will meet y'all there!!! Give him a BIG HUG FROM HIS MOMMY!!! GOD, I WISH YOU WERE HERE!!!! WE MISS YOU SO MUCH!! IM trying to be strong, BUT I WANT TO WAKE UP FROM THIS HORICFIC NIGHTMARE!!!!! I wish you'd just call Ive give ANYTHING just to hear your voice one LASTTIME!!! I'm so sorry I was mad @ you. I wasn't that mad you just hurt my feelings!!! I LOVE YOU ALL THE WAY TO HEAVEN & BACK INFINITY TIMES!!! ILL meet you there!!! LOVE YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!! IM SO SORRY. If I could ONLY TURN back time I would give anything to talk to you!!!! LOVE YOU LOVE YOU LOVE YOU!!!! You wife,
Brandie Louise Siau!

My heart goes out to you guys!!! You are in my prayers...

Love you,
Janice

I didn't know Marcus but I know his aunt Rebecca Watts. Rebecca said that Marcus was a very loving person...that he had so much good and so much love in him! My heart goes out to the entire family. May God comfort you in a way that only He can at this very difficult time.